In the beginning God created Kansas,
and it was without form and void, a grid
in two dimensions. And God said, Let
there be roads. And there were roads,
gravel ones, in one-mile sections.
Except where there were streams. Then
the roads had to go around or just
end, depending on circumstance. But
he made sure you couldn’t tell which
unless you drove down it a ways first.
And sometimes, just for fun, he made it
a driveway.
————-—And God saw that it was good.
And then God said, Let there be cars
to drive down the roads, pickups mostly,
but also minivans and sedans,
according to their kind, provided
they are twelve, fifteen years old
and very dusty. Let the cars multiply
and teem out of the earth. Let them be
reliable and not too flashy. Let them have
good engines and stable transmissions
but also, say, a window that won’t
roll down or a rusted-out fender.
And there were cars.
————-—And God saw that it was good.
And then God said, Let there be men and
women to drive the cars, men mostly for
the pickups and women mostly for the
minivans, but not completely, so that
the women can show themselves to be
industrious and resourceful and the men
can show themselves to be kind and loving
fathers to their children. Let the men wave as
they pass each other—but not in a showy
or exuberant way. Let them lift one finger
from the wheel in a neighborly gesture
to those they do not know and two fingers
or even a whole hand to a friend,
provided the base of the palm does not
leave the wheel. Should one pass an enemy,
he must lift the whole hand and nod,
for I am the Lord. But to a close friend
he may wave with one finger only
lest things seem weird between them.
If anyone does not lift the finger,
he shall be cut off from the people.
And so God created men and women
and set them down in their pickups and
minivans and sedans, and they drove and
they waved and they prospered in the land.
They planted crops and harvested them and
got married and raised families and went
to church and had potlucks, and nobody
complained when they got sick or when
it didn’t rain and the crops failed or when
a child drowned in a cattle pond or when
a family member got morose and stopped
speaking, which was rare in any case
and nothing to make a fuss over.
And God saw everything that he had made,
————-—and behold, it was very good.
Jeff Reimer is a senior editor for Comment. His work has appeared in Commonweal, Plough, Fare Forward, and The Bulwark. He lives in Kansas.
Image: Nick de Partee. Unsplash, 2016.
