blood on her doorposts:
the hyssop easy, twine twist around
stems no different from the sweetgrass braids around
her lover’s wrists the sweep of feathers against
her throat the kissing kohl of their eyes
pressed together
under a hot moon.
—————————–—perfect red counting three stars
for the beginning of something beautiful.
killing the lamb easy too,
even though miriam hated death
even and especially as a girl.
she hated that the flame did not sing to her.
killing the lamb easy, compared to whispering
“i will go,” then “i must go,” then “i must go tonight,”
her voice cracking a rainless, eggshell sky.
—————————–—perfect blue counting three stars
for the ending of something beautiful.
killing the lamb easy, compared to watching angels
with their rainbow wings all jellyfish gloss,
angels
with their wings glittering like love under water,
watching
angels
shove aside an entire sea—
and then float away
leaving so many
breathless.
if miriam sang a shore song,
i bet it was to pearl her hurt as holiness,
turn her tears into a well
that her brothers drank up happily, never wondering
at the headwaters
—————————–—because suffering makes girls good, makes valorous women
————————————————–—worthy of a perfect purple.
i bet she hated them for it.
i do.
———————————————————-—did she dream?
did she fall asleep
hoping to wake under dew beloved,
hoping manna over her tongue?
did she wonder ceaselessly
about diving for corals and bones
about the way love’s fire licks limbs
about returning home?
————————————————–—did she hate herself for the easy kill
———————————————–—when living her own life felt impossible?
——————————————————–—did she have nightmares?
about a promised land gutted by ghosts
how wild irises refuse to bloom
just bleed, bleed year after year after
next year.
until miriam’s knuckles meet hers, again,
until the sunbird and the hoopoe braid their throats
———————————————–—together and greet the last red, last blue
——————————————————–—first purple dawn.
Elisheva Fox is a queer, Jewish, Texan poet. She has been nominated for the Pushcart Prize; her first collection of poems, Spellbook for the Sabbath Queen (Belle Point), was selected as a Jewish Women’s Archive book club pick.
Photo by Tamanna Rumee on Unsplash
